NEVER A DILL MOMENT!

Actually, we had a number of dill moments this week, as we celebrated the arrival of Hanukkah, and spent hours opening dill pickle jars and consuming healthy dishes such as… potato latkes, applesauce, sour cream, kasha varnishkes, and rugelach.  (In Brooklyn they call this “The Dr. Debakey Diet.”)  Oy vey, my arteries are soooo clogged up!  Time to call Roto Rooter!   Anyway, let me wish all of my Jewish family and friends a HAPPY HANUKKAH!  (Don’t work too hard, and whatever you do, don’t “burn the candles at both ends!”)

Speaking of celebrations, last night was the Fifth Annual Festivus For- The- Best -of -Us Gala Dinner & Wine Festival.  (Sponsored by Barbara & Max Talbott, the most famous residents of Steiner Ranch.)  Among the honored guests were Judge Susan Marquess (“The Hanging Judge”), lovely Pat Cutrone, the Princess of Portugal, Baron Lee, Countess Connie (from the Azores), and Matt Lauer.  (Who kept hitting on my wife!)

Last night’s extravaganza was held at the Austin Club, which is a beautiful old structure (much like my mother-in-law) built in 1878.  Prior to becoming a social mecca, the building was known as the Millet Opera House.  (Not to be confused with the Mullet Opera House in Maine…. a very fishy place!)  During its heyday, the opera house saw performances by John L. Sullivan, William Jennings Bryan, John Phillip Sousa (who got soused), Lily Langtry, and the great Edwin Booth.  (Mr. Booth, as I’m sure you know, had three infamous siblings:  John Wilkes Booth, Toll Booth, and their sister, Fiona Booth.  (When was the last time you saw a Fiona Booth?)

I would like to thank the wonderful Talbott clan for hosting this marvelous event, which is always a spiritual event.  (Believe me, there were plenty of spirits going around!)  A fine time was had by all, and I look forward to many more evenings at the club.  (Hopefully soon, because I left my wallet in the men’s room!)

And speaking of grand events….  If you scroll down, you will notice that my upcoming radio interview with the amazing John Austin is scheduled for December 19th.  If you’re busy that day, you can listen to the podcast by going to the following website:   http://www.tantalk1340.com    Once you get there, just look for my name listed amongst the major literary figures of the 21st century.  (or in the side column)  The interview was fantastic in many ways, and even if you’ve read the book (and let’s face it, who hasn’t?) you will enjoy our conversation.

By the way, we also shared a marvelous evening with Loyd and Shelly Smith last week. We went to a place called the J5 Steakhouse in Spicewood.  Really good food.  If you haven’t tried this place, you should.  The steaks looked humongous, but I was forbidden to order one.  (cholesterol city)  Personally, I think becoming a vegetarian is a big “missed steak!”

On a brighter note, my psychiatrist says I’m doing much better.  (I am now allowed to sit up!)  I go to Dr. Melvin Handsoff, a semi-prominent fellow from Vienna.  When the doctor told me that I was delusional I nearly fell off my unicorn!  Okay, I’ll stop horsing around.

Before you stop laughing and depart, please scroll down to view a VERY famous photograph, taken at one of my recent history lectures.  This rare photo shows, in vivid detail, the enormous power of my words.  I am in the foreplay, I mean foreground, speaking about TURBULENT TIMES, and as you will see, I have the audience in the palm of my hand!  Eat your heart out, Edwin Booth!

Please take care, and we shall chat again in the near future.  Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

 

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