I know what you’re thinking, but the above blog title does NOT refer to the NFL, the Anthem, or the Pledge of Allegiance! Nay, I am referring to the fact that our little blog has reached a new milestone. (Which is less painful than a kidney stone. And different from a Gaul Stone, which you get from eating French food.) So, what is this magical mysterious milestone to which I allude? Well, as of yesterday afternoon, we now have 50,000 blog followers on this (semi) hysterical website! Yep, we recently enrolled number 50,000, and that honor went to Mr. James McCullum of Sarasota, Florida. Mr. McCullum and his wife will now receive a free weekend, courtesy of my generous publisher, at the Bellagio Hotel in Las Vegas. (Always a “sure bet” to please!) My sincere thanks to ALL of my devoted followers, who in my humble opinion, are the BEST!
By the way, a few of you keen-eyed folks might have seen the above blog title and thought of something else…. Do you remember Elvis Presley’s amazing 1959 record album, “50,000,000 Fans Can’t Be Wrong?” The album was released by RCA Victor, and if you go to the Elvis Presley Center in Tupelo, Mississippi, you will notice that it is prominently displayed in the gift shop….. right across from the book section, which prominently features my very first mystery novel, THE GRACELAND GANG! (If you’re running short of funds, just buy the book.)
Speaking of books, my radio interview with the incredible Jack Drucker has been postponed until mid to late October, due to Hurricane Irma. The old gal swept into the Tampa area with destruction on her mind, so the radio station needs to undergo some repairs before they start broadcasting again. I will keep you informed of the new broadcast date, which will feature a lengthy interview about my new history book, TURBULENT TIMES.
NOW FOR SOME REALLY IMPORTANT NEWS! I have another new blog follower! A young lady named Fiona Ivy Zell. The cute little dear was born last Monday, September 25, at 10:49 p.m. (She was published by my oldest daughter, Rachel, and her co-publisher, Adam Zell.) At birth, Fiona weighed close to seven pounds, which is probably going to be the least she ever weighs again. Her length was measured at 21 inches, but she is expected to grow quickly. She is in perfect condition, but has not yet begun to talk. What’s up with that? (Definitely not a Yanoff!) In any case, we are delighted by Rachel and Adam’s new tax deduction, and look forward to spoiling her rotten!
By the way, please remember that Halloween is fast approaching, and that this year’s most popular costume (believe it or not) is a mask of William Henry Seward! If you can’t find a mask, you can simply buy one of my books and attach a large rubber band to the front cover. Your children will adore it, and their teachers will be very impressed. If you have more than one child, you can buy a copy of THE SECOND MOURNING, which features a “potential mask” of James A. Garfield. I urge you to be creative and forget about the ghosts, ghouls, and witches.
Incidentally, why can’t ghosts have children? (Because they have “hallow weenies!”) All right, that was a terrible joke, but it seemed funny at the time. If you don’t get the punch line, drop me a note. Speaking of weenies, I see that Hugh Hefner passed away. Poor guy is now a stiff. (Too easy!) I always wanted to marry a Playmate, but that didn’t happen. (My wife once posed for Popular Mechanics, but that’s a long story.)
Well, I have to mosey on down to Target for some baby formula, so you folks take care and we’ll meet again next Sunday or the Sunday after that. By the way, if you see a photo of me in a raincoat, don’t worry. It’s not raining here in Texas. I am wearing a coat because baby Fiona leaks from a number of orifices, and I’m not sure exactly what the little darling is leaking. (Better safe than sorry!)
Love to all, and as we say in Austin, “Goo Goo Gaga!”