Not really, but my wife and daughters made me say that.  Actually, pets rule the world, or at least America.  Did you know that there are (ruff-ly) 90 million dogs in America?  (Not counting the hosts of “The View.”)  Meanwhile, for you cat loving degenerates, there are about 86 million feline creatures in our nation.  I’m a dog-lover, but I realize that many of my blog followers think that cats are “purr-fect” pets.  (Silly people!)  In any case, I bring up these fascinating statistics because of my recent dog-sitting adventures.  (One daughter spent the weekend in Dallas for some much needed R & R, and the other daughter is in lovely Miami at a fashion trade show.)  Would you like to guess who’s in charge of the pets?  (In truth, I only had to watch one dog and one two-year-old girl, but I had my hands full.  Full of what, I cannot say in public!)

Earlier in the week, I came to understand why women are taking over the universe.  First, I spent some quality time with Ms. Melinda Perez, the world’s BEST masseuse.  Melinda employs the art of “Ashiatsu” massage.  (“Ashi” is the Japanese word for foot.  “Atsu” means pressure.)  Melinda has a lot of “sole,” even when she’s massaging a “heel” like me!  Her motto is “The Toes Knows!”   OMG she is simply marvelous!

After my rub-a-dub-dub, I went to a wonderful new restaurant owned by my dear friend, Woinee Mariam.  Woinee is the owner/chef of an incredible eatery called TASTE OF ETHIOPIA II.  (This location is on 3801 S. Congress Ave., and she has another location at 1100 Grand Ave. Pkwy. in Pflugerville.)  I had the extreme pleasure of dining on Azifa (lentils), Doro Wot (chicken with diced red onions), Goat Kikil (stew), and Tikil Gomen (cabbage).  All of the above consumed with the BEST Injera (sponge bread) in our Solar System!  If you find yourself in downtown Austin, you MUST give this place a try.  The phone number is:  (512)  814-3141.

Whence I returned to my humble abode, I had the pleasure of meeting the incredibly talented Terry Davey, a Texas Registered Interior Designer who works with John-William Interiors.  Terry has been given the task of sprucing up my casa grande in time for the upcoming solar eclipse.  (or shortly thereafter)  If you need a competent and classy touch to your home or office, I suggest you give her a call at her work number:  (512)  451-5511.

By the way, do you know that 44 percent of dogs sleep in bed with their owners?  (No jokes, please!)  I find that rather fascinating.  When I was down in Port Aransas last week, I ran into some folks who owned a turtle farm.  (I referred to it as a “Shell Station.”  They didn’t think that was funny either.)  In any event, they told me that a turtle can hold its breath for up to 10 hours!  (The human record, believe it or not, is around 15 minutes.)  I don’t know why a turtle would want to hold its breath that long, but it’s still interesting.  Whenever I hold my breath, it makes me blue.

Speaking of feeling “blue,” I see that O.J. Simpson has been paroled.  I wonder if he’ll take another stab at marriage?

Well, I’m afraid it’s time for me to take my Sunday walk.  I am now walking two or three miles per month, I mean, day, in order to get back into fighting condition.  (Just in case I run into O.J. in Florida!)  I’m actually enjoying the exercise routine, which is starting to  scare me a little.  Thank God I only have five hours to go before it’s “Happy Hour” around here.  You folks take care, and we shall chat again next week….

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

*** Anybody out there know where the following photos were taken?