Would that blog title be justified if my mother served as a Wave during WWII?  (Just saying!)  Well, in any case, I recently returned from my “Beach Blanket Bingo” outing in the lovely coastal village of Port Aransas, Texas.  Whilst we did not play Bingo (thank God!) we did play some poker, and yours truly won a MAJOR tournament, by trouncing such notables players as the Princess of Portugal, Baron Lee, and Countess Connie.  (Three famous players from the European Tour)  In addition, we consumed a number of scrumptious meals and several gallons of Plantation Rum.

If you’re heading down to Port A this summer, I would highly recommend two dining establishments…  First, you must try Shells Seafood.  I got “hooked” on their capellini with seafood, served in a Thai coconut broth, and topped with wood fired mushrooms.  (While we were eating a mushroom came in and ordered a drink.  The bartender refused to serve him.  I don’t know why, he looked like a fungi to me!)

Another favorite dining spot was the Venetian Hot Plate.  Here I consumed a healthy portion of tender veal, gently swimming in a lovely brown caper sauce.  (Have you ever tried to “pull a caper?”  Very difficult.)  Anyway, I was very pleased with the cuisine and the service, and they also have an excellent wine list.

Our beachfront accommodations were superb, and as some of you know, Port A offers many distractions, including such intellectual pursuits as the “Wet T-Shirt Contest for Seniors.”  (Don’t ask!)  I won’t go into too much detail, but let’s just say that many of the older contestants were from Sag Harbor!  (Which happens to be a real town on Long Island!)

Hey, before I forget, some of you folks have been asking for more information about my author friend, Helen Ginger.  (The brilliant author of the new mystery novel, DEADPOINT.)  You can find out more about her by going to the following website:    https://straightfromhel.blogspot.com      (And don’t forget that all of her fine books are now available at Amazon.com

And since we are on the subject of great art, my other friend, the “Wizard of Watercolors,” Elizabeth Bell Taylor, has just completed a beautiful new painting titled, “Weeds.”  (These are the gorgeous version, and would look lovely anywhere.)  If you want to view her portfolio, simply go to:   Lil-Taylor.pixels.com   (You will be VERY impressed!)

By the way, for those of you living in Austin, you might have heard that one of our famous authors had his home struck by lightning last week.  Jeff Abbot, a highly acclaimed author of suspense novels, incurred substantial damage to his home in West Austin.  If you want to show your support for Jeff and his family, you can attend his book signing event this coming Tuesday evening.  (He will be speaking at BookPeople downtown, and I’m sure he would appreciate your support.)  Needless to day, we all wish him and his family the best.

Finally, as a complete non sequitur, I would like to remind you that on this day (July 16th) in 2004, Martha Stewart was sentenced to 5 months in prison for making false statements to federal investigators.  Her REAL crime, as I have recently discovered through careful research, was putting ketchup on an omelette.  (No, I don’t have a reliable endnote.  Just trust me.)

Speaking of food, if you get an email from the Hormel Company, just delete the darn thing.  (It will probably be Spam!)

Well, I must leave you now.  I just heard a young lady cough at the next table, so I must be a gentleman and offer her mouth to mouth rejuvenation.  I mean, mouth to mouth resuscitation.  God, I hope I don’t choke!

See you next week….  Love to all,

Doc Yanoff