How could I have lost the presidential election?  How?  I was sure that my blog followers would push me over the top.  (Many have tried this before!)  Now I have to disband my political organization, the L.E.T.S. Party.  (Leave Everything To Steve Party.)  Maybe the public was unaware of my record.  (I had a long record, but only two convictions.)  Who knows.  As they say, there is no accounting for taste.  I shall simply console myself with the knowledge that I tried my best, and can now resume a life of total decadence.

To add insult to injury, I have recently been contacted by the Trump “Transition Team.”  I told them that I was very happy being a man, and that I had no intention of transitioning into a woman.  (Not that there’s anything wrong with that!)  I simply hate wearing high heels.  Besides, from where I sit (in the kitchen) I see the entire political system as corrupt.  Why?  Because yesterday I tried to turn in a late ballot and was told that it was too late to vote!  You can vote early but not late?  What’s the story with that?

Now I hear that some folks want to eliminate the Electrical College.  Would you like to know my “current position” on that?  I agree!  I’d lead the “charge” if I had the “right connections!”  (Damn, these are pretty good puns!)  Why don’t we have a Secretary of Humor?  (Oh God, here comes another “plug!”)

Enough politics.  What else is new?  Well, I had a great Sunday luncheon with an old friend and insurance colleague, Ms. Meagan Kiernan.  Meagan once worked for Yanoff & Co. and is now a V.I.P. at a Dallas insurance company.  She’s smart, pretty, and personable, and just happens to be the daughter of two of my high school friends from Valley Stream!  Three days later, I spent a lovely evening at the Steiner Ranch Steakhouse, chatting with Loyd and Shelley Smith, two of the nicest folks in the universe!  Loyd is my new booking agent, but I’m trying to encourage him not to arrange any more history lectures at dawn!  (Dang, those Lakeway folks are early risers!)

Speaking of wine (well, steaks are close enough!) have you folks tried any of the wines from Barons Creek Vineyards?  They are superb!  My friend and neighbor, Marc Chase, is one of the owners and he was kind enough to give me a few bottles last week.  The vineyard is located in lovely Fredericksburg, smack dab in the middle of the Texas Hill Country.  Great venue for some wine-tasting, and they also have their own wine club and guest facilities.  (If you’re willing to buy some wine and spend the night,  I’ll plant myself on the sofa and read one of my books to you.  Trust me, you’ll fall asleep quickly!)

Congrats to Col. Richard Myerson, the winner of our last trivia contest.  The Army colonel was the first to provide the correct answer about John Wesley Hardin’s mistress, whose name was…..  Beulah Morose!  This week’s question?  What was the name of Jesse James’s favorite horse?  (I only need the stallion’s first name, not the first and last!)  The winner will receive…  a $100 gift card to Home Depot.  Good luck, amigos!

In closing, I would like to wish all 34,000 of my blog followers a VERY happy and healthy Thanksgiving.  If you live in this wonderful country, you have much to be thankful for, and you should enjoy your meal and forget about my recent political humiliation.  I’ll get over it.  I’ll survive.  I’m already making plans for 2020.  (I might run for mayor of Antigua.)  In any case, go forth and “gobble” up your feast!

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

P.S.  As an added holiday bonus, I am attaching some more photographs of my last Sicilian adventure!  Arrivederci!