LOST AT SEA!

No, not me, my snorkel!  Would you believe that a felonious dolphin snatched my snorkel out of my hand and swam or swum off?  True story.  First day in the water, too!  I wonder if that rascal did that “on porpoise?”  Well, no problem, I always travel with extra equipment.  If you haven’t guessed by now, I am currently (lots of current) sailing through the lovely Caribbean, bound for the island of Gluttony.

Our ship (the S.S. Minnow) is just gorgeous, and the food is superb.  Don’t ask me how they do it, but this particular vessel has 4 five-star restaurants!  (Yes, I intend to eat in each of them.)  We left the port of Miami without incident, but I got into a little trouble during the mandatory muster drill.  (I thought they said “mustard drill,” so I took a nap.)  I had to “ketchup” later!

Today we are in Nassau, the site of my first book event.  So far, I am quite impressed with my fellow passengers.  This is a very well-read bunch of folks, and they all seem quite interested in my books.  (Although two older ladies thought that I was Stephen King, not Stephen Yanoff.)  A little embarrassing, since one of them was my wife.

For those who care, I am aboard the S.S. Riviera, which is part of Oceania Cruise Lines.  This is my first voyage with these folks, and so far, I am very pleased with the accommodations, food, drink, and service.  Our next stop is San Juan, Puerto Rico, where we will be touring with a special group of historians interested in the sites and sounds of the Old San Juan.  (forts, museums, etc.)  I am looking forward to this stop, and meeting the territorial governor.  Of course, Puerto Rico is technically bankrupt, so he might ask me for a loan.  (I am leaving my wallet on the ship.)

When I was living in New York, I would come to Puerto Rico once a year to visit my hubcaps.  Interesting city.  Best part?  No snow!  By the way, about 200 passengers on our ship missed their connection due to the weather.  Lousy break, but you know what they say about the weather.  (everybody talks about it, but nobody does a dang thing!)

I hope you will forgive the relative shortness of today’s blog, but I am a little pressed for time.  (we have a ding-bat, I mean, dinghy, waiting for us onshore.)  I shall drop you another line later in the week, unless some damn fish steals my laptop.  In that case, I will drop you a fishing line!  Have you heard any of these lines before?  All right, I won’t “string out” these lousy jokes…

Have a wonderful and safe week, and please don’t worry about any international incidents that you may read about this week in the Caribbean.  (I am trying to stay out of trouble, but tonight we are going to a “rum festival” so I cannot make any promises!)

Love to all,

Captain Kidder   (a/k/a Doc Yanoff)

 

 

 

 

 

 

3 thoughts on “LOST AT SEA!

  1. Happy sailing, Stephen! Stay safe and stay away from the rails after your rum festival or you may fall over? Take care! Enjoyed your humorous post as always! 😆

  2. Magnifico.     Hsppy New Year!!!!!Johnny 

    Sent on the new Sprint Network from my Samsung Galaxy S® 4 mini

  3. Very funny and clever. I might steal a line or two for my blog 😎

    Mark Kierstein 321.482.4757 office/mobile

    Sent via Pony Express

    >

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