GREETINGS FROM AUSTIN, TEXAS, …..  And if you happen to be one of those guys who self-identify as a father (a sly reference to Rachel Dolezal) allow me to wish you Happy Father’s Day!  Today, across America, two amazing things happen with shocking frequency…  First, children will call home, speak to their dads for twenty seconds, and then ask dad to put mom on the line.  Second, millions of fathers will soon receive one of the most ugly ties ever created.  Where, dear God, do these ties come from?  (My guess is not Brooks Bros. but Ringling Bros.)  If you have led a good life, you will get a work reprieve from your wife…. but I have something to say about that……….

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something around the house, he will.  There is no need to remind him every six months!

Since I’ve mentioned Rachel Dolezal (who will soon be starring in the new movie, “Fifty Shades of Black”) allow me to share my thoughts about the situation…  I had the pleasure of watching her interview on the “Today” show, but I don’t think she’s learned her lesson.  (She spent the first hour pretending to be Al Roker!)  During the interview she said that she drew pictures of herself with a brown crayon, instead of a peach-colored crayon.  Peach did not “appeal” to her.  She referred to that color as “the pits.”  (Relax, I have no more fruit jokes!)

However, just for the record, when I was a kid my parents were always telling me to get lost… so I drew myself with invisible ink!  (Hey, that was better than another fruit pun!)

Speaking of ink…..  Donald Trump is getting a lot of free press after his big announcement.  (He’s running for President again.)  Trump wasted no time getting down to business.  He demanded to see Jeb Bush’s birth certificate!  He also promised to be the best job-creator that God ever made.  (I’d feel better about that if his motto wasn’t “You’re fired!”)  Oh well, if he doesn’t get the nomination he can always put on a little more spray tan and run for president of the Spokane NAACP!

And since we’re on the subject of tans…..  my trip down to the Caribbean has begun to pay handsome dividends.  I am proud to report that RANSOM ON THE RHONE is the number one best-selling mystery on the lovely isle of St. Thomas.  Number two on St. John.  (Nobody reads on St. Croix… too windy.)

Due to popular demand (from a blog follower in Siberia) I shall attempt to post some stunningly gorgeous photographs from my recent voyage to the American Virgin Islands.  I do hope you like them.  (You can purchase copies at the bookstore or at any Post Office.)

Accordingly, I shall leave you with one final thought…  as I quote the immortal words of Abraham Lincoln…..  “Don’t believe everything that you read on the Internet.”   Verily, I say unto thee, go forth and have a wonderful (and safe) week.  Love to all,

Doc Yanoff