A DAY LATE AND A DOLLAR SHORT…

Why, you might ask, am I publishing my Sunday blog on Monday?  Well, mainly because I spent most of yesterday flying across the Gulf of Mexico.  And believe me, my arms are sore!  (Henny Youngman, 1956.)  Nonetheless, I am now safely ensconced in my mother’s palatial mansion in fabulous Boca Raton, Florida.  I was, however, a dollar short when I reached the first toll plaza.  I am pleased to report that the authorities didn’t care.  Incredibly, they allowed me to drive through without paying, and they even turned on some flashing lights to provide visibility!  Swell folks down here in the Sunshine State.

Speaking of swell folks, I had the pleasure of sitting next to Roger Staubach on my Southwest flight.  “Roger The Dodger” (his nickname) was a great quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys during their prime years.  He seemed very impressed when I told him that I played quarterback for my junior high school team, even though we lost 32 games in a row.  He was kind enough to say that I seemed to be more of a left-back.  I told him that I most enjoyed making passes at the cheerleaders.  After that, he switched seats.

So here I am today, about to go to lunch with my brother Glenn in fabulous Boca Raton.  Boca, in case you’re wondering, is the “Breast Enhancement Capital of America.”  As I stroll through Mizner Mall I am reminded of the old movie “BOOBS IN TOYLAND.”  (Although there are plenty of babes down here, too.)  Well, you get “the point.”  (Look, don’t complain about these lame jokes, I promised to keep you “abreast” of my travels!)

Enough about memory glands.  What else is new?  Well, sales of my new book, RANSOM ON THE RHONE, have been quite good.  (Even without the 10,000 copies purchased by my mother.)  The French newspaper, Le Monde, published a glowing review and referred to me as “one of the best American mystery writers in recent years.”  I assume that was a compliment, but you never know with the French.  In any case, I do appreciate the kind words.  Merci, my wine-drinking friends!

As you might imagine, depending on the quality of your imagination, thousands of book lovers are eagerly awaiting my scheduled book signings, which are too numerous to mention on this blog.  Safe to say, I will be quite busy this week, but I am determined to do some swimming in the mighty Atlantic Ocean.  (Or my mother’s pool.  Whichever is warmer.)  Frankly, I am glad to be in a warm and humid spot.  A warm and humid spot that is not a gym or exercise facility.

In closing, I would like to share an interesting tidbit from Roger Staubach.  Before he changed seats, he told me that the athletic supporter (a/k/a the jockstrap) was invented in 1874.  Football players started wearing them as soon as they were available.  Now get this… football helmets became mandatory in 1939.  Do you realize what this means?  It took men 65 years to realize that their brains were as important as their crotches!!

Talk about better late than never!  And on that note, it’s better that I bid you a fond farewell.  The surf is calling!  (I hope it’s not a collect call.)  Have a safe and wonderful week.  Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

 

 

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