Well, with just 5 or 6 days left until Mr. Santa makes his annual appearance, I have some good holiday news to share….. The winners of one of this year’s most prominent book award contests have recently been announced, and much to my delight, my new history masterpiece, GONE BEFORE GLORY, has been chosen as one of the “MOST NOTABLE BOOKS OF 2021!” Yes, dear friends, the judges of the 2021 SHELF UNBOUND BOOK COMPETITION have spoken, and I am very pleased to be the recipient of their HUGE cash prize. (Which will be donated to charity.)

The SHELF AWARDS are very important in the publishing industry, and there were over 5,000 books entered in this year’s contest. To be chosen is actually a great honor, and I am most thankful. In case you’re keeping score, this is the second major award that GONE BEFORE GLORY has received. (I was lucky enough to win a Bronze Medal at the Paris Book Awards a few months back.) Also, if you’re looking for a wonderful “stocking stuffer,” this book would make a great gift. (Plus you’ll be helping a terrific charity for children!)

By the way, don’t worry about the price. (You can’t take it with you, anyway. The money, that is.) Incidentally, did you know that “paper money” is actually a blend of cotton and linen? (and it can actually be washed!) The one dollar bill is still my favorite. It was designed by Ben Franklin and a group from the First Continental Congress. Interestingly, the number 13 is quite prominent on the bill itself. (You’ll note that there were 13 original colonies, that there were 13 signers of the Declaration of Independence, and that the bill displays…. (are you ready for this?) …. 13 stars in the Seal, 13 steps on the pyramid, 13 leaves in the olive branch, 13 arrows in the eagle’s talon, 13 stars above the eagle’s head, and….. There are 13 letters in the slogan “E PLURIBUS UNUM!”) WHAT’S THE STORY WITH THAT??

Don’t spend too much time thinking about the above. We have more important things to worry about… For instance, why doesn’t Elmer’s glue stick to the INSIDE of the bottle? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? If natural foods are so good for you, why do so many people die of natural causes? If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (Oops, that might be an X-rated joke!)

Some of my blog followers from the DEEP SOUTH (i.e., St. Thomas, St. Martin, St. Kitts, St. Bart’s) have inquired about my presence at some of the upcoming book fairs. Well, I am happy to report that I will be visiting your lovely islands sometime in February, 2022. My itinerary is being “firmed up” as we speak, so once I know what’s going on with that damn Covid nonsense, I shall let everyone know where and when to find me. (Don’t forget to bring cash and/or rum to pay for the books!)

I believe, but I’m not positive, that our first stop will be St. Thomas, the lovely island which we purchased from Denmark in 1917. (Those crafty Danes asked for $25 million, which seems fair to me, as that is what the average house in Austin now costs!!) Well, almost costs. In any case, we will be visiting with some fellow drunkards at the near-perfect location of Magens Bay, which is lined with coconut palms and kissed by azure waters. If you’re anywhere on the island, come by and we’ll put another shrimp on the barbie. (Usually, Barbie complains, but women are like that.)

So, after that terrible joke, let me wish you and yours are very MERRY CHRISTMAS and a most HAPPY NEW YEAR. I do look forward to chatting with all of my blog followers next year, which I hope will be filled with joy and happiness for all. If you get a little depressed during the holidays, just remember that “health nuts” have it much worse than us. (Someday those healthy folks are going to feel mighty stupid, lying in a hospital and dying of nothing!)

Until then, I remain, as always, Dr. S.G. Yanoff, ESQ., LTD., N.U.T.