PIRATES OF PERCHANCE. (Chapter 3) “Beach Blanket Bingo!”

Well, as you might have guessed, one of the more popular games down in Antigua & Barbuda is beach blanket bingo, but if I were you I’d never play this game on a “clothing optional beach.”  (i.e., anywhere there is nudity)  Why?  Because when somebody gets “bingo,” they jump up and scream, and a curious bystander can get seriously injured.  (Think of flailing body parts!)  In any case, I was not severely injured, but I did get a black eye.  (Last time I stand that close to a naked Antiguan!)

Our lovely vessel dropped anchor in Heritage Bay at 7:30  a.m., and shortly thereafter (at noon) we dropped by a wonderful little place called Jolly Beach, which is truly beautiful.  (Check out the photos at the end of this semi-brilliant blog post)  We were the guests of a local hotel and after signing a few thousand copies of TURBULENT TIMES (actually, 17 copies, but who’s counting?) we had the rest of the day to ourselves… and we certainly made the most of it.  The hotel was kind enough to supply a gourmet luncheon of local treats, plus an unlimited amount of Caribe beer and rum.  (After two hurricanes, I was feeling no pain.)

Aside from ruining your liver, you can tour the island, which contains some enchanting forests and is surrounded by azure waters.  The most famous (previous to my visit) person associated with Antigua is Admiral Horatio Nelson, the father of David and Ricky Nelson.  (I think)  The capital, St. John’s, is also a nice spot to dine and wine, but make sure you bring plenty of booty.  (Ain’t nothin’ cheap in this part of the world)

Most of the tours stop at a place called Nelson’s Dockyard, which offers a certain amount of appeal, and is still in use today.  If you’re lucky, you will then be driven way up a mountain to a spot known as Shirley Heights, where you can gaze across the sea while sipping another rum drink.  (Here you will be 446 feet above sea level, perched on some questionable cliffs… so make sure you order that rum drink!)

Due to my international celebrity status, and a small bribe,  we were invited to have lunch at Eric Clapton’s villa, but our schedule did not allow a visit.  Just as well. I understand that he was back in London with some chick named Layla.  We did make time to use his pool and grab a souvenir towel, but it wasn’t worth the detour. (Or the modest fine)  Next week, or the week after, we shall be re-living our stop in St. Lucia, which was simply luscious!

So what else is new?  Well, my trip to Granbury was a huge success.  We sold and signed many books, and more importantly, made a lot of new friends.  If you’re planning a visit, make sure to stop at the Historic Granbury Square (which look round to me) and the charming 1886 Granbury Opera House.  (Which has recently been renovated)  Owing to my vast historical knowledge, I ushered our party over to the Acton Cemetery to see the grave of Elizabeth Crockett, the widow of Texas hero  Davy Crockett, who died at the Alamo.

If you’re so inclined, you can also stop for a cold beer and some hot polka music at Ketzler’s Schnitzel Haus and Biergarten.  (Don’t have too many beers, or you’ll really get inclined!)  After you fortify yourself with some strong ale, head over to the Nutt House (Yes, that’s the real name) and sign up for the Granbury Ghosts and Legends Tour.  (The town is filled with spirits!)

Finally, I’d like to thank Ms. Terry Lewis, of the Bee Cave Public Library, for inviting me to be a featured author at this weekend’s Spring Fest in the Galleria at Lake Travis.  I had a marvelous time and met a lot of very nice people, and the weather was simply superb.  (All of my mystery novels and both of my history books were available for purchase, which made my visit even better!)  This was a terrific event and I hope to be back next year, so thanks again, Terry!

Well, all you pet lovers, I shall leave you with this thought…..  If the situation were turned around, I doubt very seriously if one cat would take in 26 old ladies.  Meow, meow.  Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

 

 

2 thoughts on “PIRATES OF PERCHANCE. (Chapter 3) “Beach Blanket Bingo!”

  1. christine nickles

    So happy to be sharing your adventures with you and for free! Seriously, so proud of all you’ve accomplished. Your family must be beaming. Happy spring!

    On Sun, Apr 28, 2019, 3:34 PM Books By Stephen G. Yanoff wrote:

    > stephengyanoff posted: “Well, as you might have guessed, one of the more > popular games down in Antigua & Barbuda is beach blanket bingo, but if I > were you I’d never play this game on a “clothing optional beach.” (i.e., > anywhere there is nudity) Why? Because when somebody ” >

  2. Susan Marquess

    I am so glad I know somebody with such fantastic writing skills. 😀 Great pictures too! ❤️

    >

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