Well, since Bob Dylan refuses to acknowledge the Nobel Prize for Literature, I have unselfishly offered to accept the award for my own brilliant song writing.  What’s that you say, you didn’t know that I wrote songs?  Not only was I born in Nashville, Tennessee, but I am soon to be inducted into the Country & Western Song Writer’s Hall of Fame for my first (and regrettably last) album, titled, “I’ll Never Get Over You Until You Get Out From Under Him.”  (Available on Amazon.com)  I am very proud of this album, which features some of my genuine country classics…..

Who will ever forget (no matter how hard they try) these famous tunes…..  “If The Phone Don’t Ring, You’ll Know It’s Me.”   “I Still Miss You, But My Aim Is Getting Better.”   “She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger.”   “Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure.”   And finally, my own personal favorite, “You’re The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly.”   Let’s face it, friends, they don’t write songs like these anymore.  (Except in two counties in southern Arkansas.)

Hey, since we are on the subject of literary genius, I would like to announce (warn) that I shall be speaking at the Lakeway Men’s Breakfast Club this coming Wednesday, October 26, at 8 a.m. in the morning.  My presentation will concern the assassination of President Garfield, and I will be speechifying (is that a real word?) about my history book, THE SECOND MOURNING.  Admission is free, and if you come early, you can purchase an autographed book.  I hope to see you there!  (I’ll be the only one awake at that hour!)

Lest I forget, congratulations to Judy Doyle of San Francisco, who won last week’s (tricky) trivia question.  There are 13 NARA Presidential Libraries, and two of them are dedicated to…..  Gerald R. Ford!  (One in Ann Arbor and the other in Grand Rapids.)   This week’s question?  Denton is north of Dallas, but which western outlaw do we associate with the “Denton Mare?”  (And where the heck was this poor fellow apprehended by the law?)  Good luck, everyone!

Last night we celebrated (with a gala steak dinner) the return of the Princess of Portugal and her worn-out hubby, Baron Lee.  After several weeks of traipsing around Europe, the royal couple has returned to humble Round Rock, where they will be recuperating (and replacing some of their wine-soaked bodily fluids) with good old fashioned water.  Or maybe just good Old Fashions?  Either should work. In any case, welcome home!

Today was a VERY special day for me and my best friend, Baker.  (Baker is my daughter’s dog, and my biggest fan.)  We (the entire Yanoff Clan and several other families) spent the morning down at Zilker Park in Austin.  Doing what, you might ask?  Celebrating Baker’s 15th Birthday!  We had a grand party, complete with breakfast tacos from Torchy’s, and lots of fun and games for the pooches. (there were at least 7 of them!)  The kids had a ball, too.  My daughter brought a piñata costume for Baker (he was not too thrilled about that) but he kept it on as we all sang “Happy Birthday,” and then proceeded to tear it to shreds with the other dogs!  All in all it was a “ruff” morning, but a lot of fun!  (If you would like to send Baker a gift, he is registered at Bloomingdales.)

Well, that’s about it for me.  I must go pack, just in case I get a phone call from the Nobel Committee in Oslo.  When I asked them if they thought I actually had a chance to win the big prize, they said “Nor-way!”    (Judge not, lest ye be judged!)

Love to all, Doc Yanoff