HEY, THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE TITLE OF A GREAT MYSTERY NOVEL!  Well, it is, but it’s also the path that I’ve chosen in life…..  Following in the footsteps, or should I say boot steps of Captain Kidd, I am now sailing through the majestic Caribbean in pursuit of fame and fortune!  (I’d settle for the fortune.)  My crew and I have everything we need, sans a few wenches, I mean, winches.  We certainly have plenty of sand.  Our little dinghy is filled with provisions and rum.  (Enough rum to keep us dinghy!)

In order to gain the respect of the crew, I have taken to wearing a black eye-patch, which has become something of a tripping hazard.  Even worse, the damn parrot keeps pooping on my shirt.  Sooner or later, we shall be dining on parrot stew, which is really for the birds.  My first mate, Princess Patty, thinks I should wear my hair in dreadlocks, but I dread lox, unless it’s on a bagel.  Something fishy about that!

Speaking of fishy…..  our ITALIAN chef died of food poisoning last night.  They asked me to deliver a little sermon, so I came up with the following tribute…..   “We will all miss our chef, Luigi.  I can’t believe he pasta away!  Here today, gone tomato!  I guess he ran out of thyme.  I’m sending olive my prayers to the family.  You never sausage a beloved man!”  And so it went, until there was not a dry eye in the house.  (Especially after I did some onion jokes.)

Well, you never know what you will encounter on the high seas, or even the low ones.  I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me, but I still retain some incredible, deep thoughts…..  such as…..  “DO NOT TRUST ATOMS.  THEY MAKE UP EVERYTHING!  The same could be said for genies…..  One of our fellow passengers asked a genie (they are all over the Caribbean) to make him desirable and irresistible to every woman on earth.  The dang genie turned the poor fellow into a credit card!  Be careful what you wish for, my friends.

Well, right about now you’re probably wishing that this blog post would end, and guess what, your wish will now be granted!  But before I leave, I would like to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Ingrid Kaminski and Sharon Francia, two of my beautiful blog followers!  Have a great day, ladies!

The rest of you folks, please take care and have a wonderful week.  I will keep you posted on my Caribbean voyage.  (Next stop Jamaica and then the Cayman Islands.)  Love to all…..

Doc Yanoff