M-I-C, K-E-Y,  M-O-U-S-E!  Hello, kids, and welcome to the Greek version of Mickey’s Clubhouse!  I didn’t actually find any Mouseketeers in Mykonos, but I did see a few rats.  (Down by the pier)  In any case, day number two of our Greek odyssey was spent on the enchanting island of Mykonos.  The best part of Mykonos is the little island just off shore… the uninhabited isle of Delos, which is one of the most important archaeological sites in all Greece.  This place is a MUST SEE spot, and contains numerous temples and buildings dating back to the 6th century B.C.  (Delos is the mythical birthplace of Apollo and his twin sister, Artemis.)  There is no shade, so if you visit, bring a good hat and some bottled water!

Mykonos, as you have heard, is “party central.”  The island is notoriously famous for wild dance parties and drunken festivals.  Fortunately, most of these events take place at night (past my bedtime of 10 p.m.) so I missed all the fun.  (Nothing like watching a group of German tourist regurgitate yogurt and wine.)  During the daytime, you might want to visit one of the beaches, which are quite lovely.  We spent the afternoon at a luxury hotel near Agios Giannis Beach, which is surrounded by wonderful tavernas.  Be aware that some of the beaches cater to nude women.  (I didn’t notice any of the men, but there might be a few.)  I should also mention that naked Greek women are not very pleasant about posing for photographs.  (Even when you tell them you work for National Geographic Magazine.)

Once you find a taverna, order a glass of ouzo and a plate or two of homemade meze.  Stick with the basics (tzatziki, hummus, pita, moussaka, etc.) and you cannot go wrong.  The food and wine on Mykonos is very good, and most of the prices are fair, except for a handful of tourist traps.  (The “traps” are usually filled with tourists, so avoid them at all cost.)  After you become intoxicated (but can still walk) head over to a spot called “Little Venice,” which is down by the main port.  This is where you will find the famous windmills of Mykonos and the church of Paraportiani, the most photographed church on the island.  They also have some wonderful tavernas down by the water, so grab some grilled octopus and another bottle of wine.  (Hey, you only live once!)

I hope I spelled “octopus” correctly.  I hate spelling errors.  You mix up two letters and your whole blog post is urined.

By the way, Greek women are gorgeous, but the men leave much to be desired.  (Not that I desired any men.  That’s just a phrase.)  Anyway, most of the men refuse to shave during the summer months, and there is apparently a shortage of deodorant on the island.  Also, here are the reasons to have a man bun:  NONE!  There is literally no reason.  Stop it.

So what else is new?  Well, once again we were enthralled by the Princess of Portugal and Baron Lee, who jointly hosted another gala dinner party at their mansion in Round Rock.  (There were NO joints, but plenty of barbecue.)  Our special guests were the unofficial “Minnesota Goodwill Ambassadors,” Dr. Rick and Museum Mary.  We dined on gourmet brisket and ribs, but alas, there was no potato salad.  (Somebody forgot to check the bags!)  Nevertheless, we had a marvelous evening.  (Thank God you-know-who didn’t forget the beans!)

I was supposed to attend the new Monet exhibit last week, but I got my dates mixed up.  (Nothing messes up your Friday like finding out it’s only Thursday.)  I might give it another shot today, depending on the whether.  (whether or not I have the time!)  Monet is one of my favorite painters, and he always made a big “impression” on me.  (I have to “brush up” on my art jokes!)

Well, time to head for my brunch date, so adios until next time.  I hope you all have a wonderful week, and please remember that you should never fret about getting old… not everyone gets the chance!

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

 

 

 

No, I am NOT referring to the brown shoe polish that I occasionally use on my hair!   I’m referring to the travel plan that I designed for our Grecian voyage.  I wanted to make sure that our (semi) sober captain brought us to all of the neurotic, I mean exotic, islands that were worthy of a stop.  Sailing around the Aegean and Mediterranean Seas is serious business, matey.  By the way, have you noticed that no one disappears in the Bermuda Triangle anymore?  What’s the deal?  Maybe the Triangle is full.  Hey, did you know that Isosceles was a Greek mathematician?  (He was not a square guy, if that’s what you were thinking.)

Stavros is the most common Greek name in use today, but since I overate during my entire stay in Greece, our colleagues re-named me “Starve-ros.”  (I was always starving)  Last week I mentioned the delightful food tour we took in Athens, but I neglected to mention the names of the chefs.  If you dine in or around Athens, you might bump into Sue Vlaki, Philo Dough, Shish Kay Bobbie, or Lou Koumades.  (All wonderful folks, as their names imply!)

So, after 3 glorious days in Athens, we stumbled aboard our modest sailing vessel, the Titanic II, and set off for the enchanting village of Nafplio.  This stop was quite interesting, and the village is considered to be one of the most romantic places on the Peloponnese coast.  I actually hitchhiked into town and had a funny experience.  The gent who picked me up told me that he was surprised that I got into his vehicle.  After all, he said, he might be a serial killer.  I told him that I wasn’t worried.  What were the odds of two serial killers being in his car at the same time? (We didn’t chat much after that remark.  Not sure why.)

Anyway, if you go to Nafpilo, you must make time to see the Corinth Canal, which is close by.  (The canal dates back to 600 B.C.  It’s four miles long and 70 feet wide, and was carved out of sheer rock!)  Before the canal was built, the ancient Greeks had to sail all the way around the Peloponnese Peninsula, which added about 185 nautical miles to their voyage.

Another wonderful excursion would be a trip to the Epic Theatre of Epidaurus.  As the name implies, this is a very old Greek theatre, constructed in the 4th century, and famous for its marvelous acoustics.  This marvelous structure held up to 12,000 spectators and is the best-preserved theatre of ancient Greece.  (I’m not sure, but I think Epidaurus was the goddess of childbirth.)  As you can see, I’m a little rusty on my Greek mythology.  I do remember some of the big names…  Aphrodite was the goddess of beauty and love.  (Hermaphroditus was her rather confused and conflicted brother.)  Apollo was the god of music and arts, and the owner of a theatre in Harlem.  Hermes was the god of travel, but he contracted some sort of STD.  Zeus was the head man, and the author of many highly-acclaimed children’s books.  (His most famous work was “The Greek Who Stole Christmas.”)

Do me a “fava,” as they say in Greek kitchens… don’t repeat any of these bad jokes to your children!  I have always believed that raising kids is like a walk in the park.  (Jurassic Park!)  Anyway, I must take my leave, as my bagel is ready and I am very hungry this morning.  (I think it was all this talk about food!)  I do hope you enjoyed the humor about the Greek gods and goddesses.  I was going to tell a few jokes about chemistry, but I never get a reaction.  (Come on, you never heard that one before!)

     Well, please have a wonderful week.  If you would like to see some more photos of Athens, you can scroll down and feast your eyes on some lovely scenes.  And speaking of feasts…..   Sesame bagel here I come!

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

 

 

Well, as you can see from the above blog title, we are off on the second leg of our round-the-world cruise.  (The second leg cost an arm AND a leg!)  Nevertheless, our Mediterranean voyage has now become (semi) immortalized in its own book… “Gullible Travelers.”  If you recall, the first book was titled “Innocence Abroad,” which was a rather clever reference to Mark Twain’s book, “Innocents Abroad.”  (His book was not as funny as mine)  Book number two is a similarly clever reference to Jonathan Swift’s classic novel, “Gulliver’s Travels.”  (His book was not as funny either)

Now that we’ve got that cleared up, we shall begin in Athens, Greece, the ancient metropolis that gave the world democracy, mathematics, philosophy, and hummus.  (The hummus was the most important, as it produced the world’s first musical trio…  Pita, Paul, and Mary.)

Being something of a poet, I have always been impressed with the works of Homer.  (His brother, Jethro, was also a fine poet.)  Homer was a great baseball player, and as his name suggests, he led the league in home runs.  All right, that was a bit of a stretch.  Homer, as you might know, was the author of two epic poems, the INVALID and the ODDITY.  (Both are required reading at my alma mater, Dodge City Community College.)  They are fascinating poems, but not very humorous.

Upon our arrival in Athens (we flew in from Rome) we checked into a swell joint near the Parthenon.  The Parthenon is a former temple, but they never hosted bar mitzvahs there.  This temple was dedicated to Athena, the goddess of wisdom, courage, and feta cheese.  Our lovely room at the Grand Bretagne Hotel overlooked the ancient ruins, so we immediately requested a better view.  (Who the heck wants to go to Greece to look at old buildings?)  The staff were very accommodating, but I don’t think they understood my American sensibilities.

Half the population of Greece lives in Athens, and that would be about 5 million folks, give or take a few Spartans.  I actually love this city, and for good reason.  The food in wonderful, the people are gracious, and the history is simply overwhelming.  (Almost as cool as the Alamo!)  We spent a full day at the National Museum of Greece, which is a “must see” location.  Again, most of the items on display were old, but we still managed to enjoy our visit.  (By the way, don’t touch any of the ancient vases.  They’re very breakable.  Just saying.)

Thanks to my brilliant daughter, Rebecca, we booked a food tour of the city, and this turned out to be one of the most interesting days of the trip.  Our lovely guide escorted the four of us around Athens, stopping every five minutes for some delectable morsel.  We also got to peek around the old markets and sample some goodies there.  If you go to Athens, I would definitely recommend this excursion.  (I had tzatziki coming out of my ears, but I loved every minute.)

Incidentally, do you remember me mentioning Keats and his relationship to Rome?  Well, believe it or not, his famous contemporary, George Gordon, Lord Byron, had a fascinating connection to Greece.  In the summer of 1823, Byron left Italy, eager to help the Greeks in their fight for independence.  While attempting to raise a regiment (with his own funds) he contracted a fever, and died on April 19, 1824.  His body was taken back to England for burial, but he still idolized by Greek scholars and students.  (Byron wrote many wonderful poems, but my personal favorite is “She Walks in Beauty.”)

And speaking of beautiful things…  I now have a major publisher looking at my first two history books, THE SECOND MOURNING and TURBULENT TIMES, for re-publication under their own imprint.  (Something not uncommon in the realm of non-fiction.)  I shall keep you informed of my progress!  They are also interested in publishing history book number three, GONE BEFORE GLORY.  (The complete tale of William McKinley’s amazing life)  Wish me luck!

Well, time for breakfast…  I do hope that everyone had a wonderful holiday season, and I wish you all a Happy and Healthy New Year!  Have a great week!

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff